We’re studying the Middle Ages in our homeschooling lessons. On Tuesday morning River and I talked about the wars between the Muslims and the Christians. It was a great lesson with fascinating stories, but at the same time it’s a part of history that I’ve dreaded discussing. I mean, as a Christian, I’m embarrassed by it: “So this is when we decided to go ahead and share the love and peace of Jesus by killing everyone who believes differently”. Yeah, it doesn’t make the Church look overly good. Or intelligent.

After our lesson, River started to run off but then she paused and turned around. “I’m sure glad we don’t live back then when everyone was always fighting wars and stuff”, she said. “It sounds scary.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond. I don’t want to tell her that there are still wars being fought throughout the world – that there are still people willing to kill others because of their religion or ideology or politics. I don’t want her to be fearful. Rather, I want her to believe that people are kind and that the world is safe and maybe even that Santa Claus is real – in other words, I want her childhood innocence to last as long as it can.

But, of course, the world isn’t perfect. There are crazy people out there.

Today, like half of Canada, I spent the day glued to the radio, listening to updates about the Ottawa shooting. The reports were chaotic at first – were there multiple gunmen? Multiple locations? Then came the news that the soldier who had been shot died of his injuries.

What a senseless tragedy.

Pray for Both Mothers

As I sat and listened with my baby boy in my arms, I thought about the soldier’s mother – how could I not? She’d never get to hold her son again. I am heartbroken for her loss. I tried my best to pray for her and her family.

I also thought about the mother of the shooter, and I tried to pray for her too. I remember once hearing an interview with Monique Lépine, the mother of the gunman who killed 14 women at l’École Polytechnique, an event now known as the the Montreal Massacre. Lépine said that when she first heard the news of the killings, she had been on her way to a prayer meeting. She then asked the group to pray for the killer’s mother – not yet knowing that she was asking them to pray for herself. That story has always stuck with me.

Today, two mother’s lost their sons. And one of them not only lost her son, but she must also deal with the shame and grief of knowing what he did. I can’t even imagine what that would be like. My heart goes out to her too.

So I pray for his mother. Both mothers. Both families. All the families that have been touched by the events of this day.

It’s a small thing but sometimes small things are all we can do.

When I heard that the soldier had died, my first thought was to take the girls down to the armoury and leave flowers – a small gesture to show the friends and family of the fallen soldier that we care. I wanted to bring the girls because I want them to know that sometimes big scary things happen, but there are also lots of people doing little kind things, and those little things all added together are bigger than the tragedies themselves.

Be the Helpers

There is a great quote by Mr. Rogers that seems to circulate on social media every time a frightening event occurs: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mom would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'” What a beautiful perspective – a way to see the good, even in the bad. As my children grow older, I want them to be looking for the helpers. I want them to look for ways that they can be helpers too, even in tiny ways. That might mean praying. That might mean dropping off flowers to show that they care.

But not this time. In the end, I decided not to bring my girls to the armoury because I don’t want to tell them what happened today. I want them to stay innocent just a little while longer. This time, I’ll pray quietly as I listen to the radio in the kitchen. I’m not ready to let my daughters know that there are still people who will kill. I’m not ready for them to know that the world can be that scary.

I’ll pray for the mother of the victims. I’ll pray for mother of the killer. And then, like all mothers across Canada, I’ll hug my kids extra tight tonight.