Welcome to the November Carnival of Natural Parenting: Kids in the Kitchen

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how kids get involved in cooking and feeding. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

I was SO excited to give my first daughter, River, food to eat. I carefully sourced out organic foods and I made the food myself as much as I could. I wanted her to have the best, the healthiest, the purest food possible.

We started out with oatmeal – not real oatmeal, but that powdery stuff that’s made especially for babies and has the constancy of glue when you mix it up. Yum. River didn’t really care for it – not a fan of glue, I guess. She ate a few bites, then played with her bowl. Nothing exciting – almost disappointing – certainly no classic photo ops.

We kept giving it to her, and when she didn’t seem to take to the powdered oatmeal, we tried powdered rice and powdered barley too. Still, she didn’t seem to enjoy the food at all.

As a nervous mother, I was upset that she wouldn’t eat like a “normal” baby. I asked my doctor why she wouldn’t eat the oatmeal, and my doctor replied, “maybe she doesn’t like oatmeal”. Honestly, I don’t think I knew that was an option. I responded that my baby just wanted to nurse instead. My doctor told me that my baby was obviously brilliant because she knew she was already getting the good stuff. My doctor is awesome like that.

So we took River home and tried other foods, like toast crusts, Cheerios (the organic knock off, of course), and some gourmet baby purees, made by yours truly. I spent a lot of time carefully picking out the best organic produce I could find, gently cooking it – with extra love – and then blending it into a delightful baby slurry. I was so proud of the delightful feasts of mush, but River really couldn’t have cared less. I kept trying to feed her, but she refused to eat much at all. After a while I stopped bothering with homemade food and switched to jarred food instead – after all, if she wasn’t going to eat it, why bother going to the trouble of making it myself?

Sometime after she turned a year, I took her back to the doctor to make sure she was okay. My awesome doctor was gone – I think she was touring Europe with her daughters for half a year – and I was passed on to a resident doctor. Being a student, the resident had a lot less experience in general and no kids of her own, and she was much more concerned about my daughter than my own doctor had been. The resident had me come back a month later to follow up, which led to another check up the month after that, and another one the month after that. I was passed around to different residents who were all upset that my girl was slipping down the growth charts, at one point falling into the bottom 3%. One resident gave me literature about eating issues that included information on Failure to Thrive – that seriously almost gave me a nervous breakdown. Looking back, I wish I had demanded a second opinion from a seasoned doctor instead of letting a bunch of students freak me out.

Meal times became more and more stressful for us and I tried in vain to coax my daughter to eat. There was a good six month period where she would insist on sitting in my lap during meal times, probably because she sensed how tense I was and instinctively needed to be close. Have you ever tried to eat a meal with a toddler in your lap? For a child who didn’t want to eat food, she sure enjoyed playing with mine…

I remember a dietican calling me because one of the residents had referred us to her. I’m sorry to say that I was a bit rude. I told her that I wasn’t going to drag my child to her clinic for no reason and we could chat on the phone instead. She started the usual spiel about variety being good for children and all the foods that she needed in her diet – she was very kind, but the information she gave me was kind of a no-brainer. I cut her off and asked if anyone knew how to make a child eat these wonderful foods. There was a long pause. No. I told her to call me when they figured that out. Needless to say, we never made it up to her office.

Eventually my doctor came back and offered some reassurance. Some one has to be in the bottom 3%, she said, so why not my kid? Besides, she pointed out that I’m a skinny minny myself, so why would I expect my child to be different? The only suggestion she offered was to cut back on nursing. Give up her beloved milk? River would have none of that. And I was thankful that she nursed for so long, because for years I was sure it was the only source of nourishment she was getting. If I had quit breastfeeding her, she’d probably have come down with scurvy or some other random illness like that. That would have really freaked the residents out.

Tomorrow my daughter turns four.  I wish I could say that I’ve figured out how to make her eat healthy, but she is still an insanely picky eater. I still look for tips and advice about getting her to eat, but I have a hard time not rolling my eyes when I hear the same suggestions again and again. Have her help prepare the meals? Grow food together in the garden? Let her see you eating healthy foods? Cut the food in fun shapes? Yeah, none of those ideas work. I mean, c’mon – this is a kid who spits out Flintstone vitamins, and those things are pretty much just candy.

Now my second daughter is nine months and shows no interest in eating. Deja vu! I often offer her bits of what we’re eating – yogurt, porridge, toast, apple sauce – but she just doesn’t want to eat it. But as long as she’s happy and active and I can give her a steady supply of “mama milk”, I’m not interested in fighting a daily battle. Honestly, life is easier when you don’t have bath your baby three times a day to get the mashed potato/creamed corn/apple sauce out of her hair. This time around, I’m just enjoying the solid food delay, and if some residents want to stress out about milestones and growth charts, that’s their problem. Some day they’ll have their own kids – then they’ll understand.

Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Baking & letting go — Cooking with kids can be a mess. Nadia at Red White & GREEN Mom is learning to relax, be patient, and have fun with the process.
• Family feeding in Child of Mine — Lauren at Hobo Mama reviews Ellyn Satter’s suggestions for appropriate feeding and points out where her family has problems following through.
• Children with Knives! (And other Kitchen Tools) — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy teaches her children how to safely use knives.
• “Mommy, Can I Help?” — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes about how she lets her kiddos help out with cooking, despite her {sometimes} lack of patience!
• Solids the Second Time Around — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes recounts her experiences introducing solids to her second child.
• The Adventure of Toddler Tastebuds — The Accidental Natural Mama shares a few things that helped her daughter develop an adventurous palate.
• A Tradition of Love — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy looks forward to sharing the kitchen traditions passed on from her mom and has already found several ways to involve baby in the kitchen.
• The Very Best Classroom — Alicia C. at McCrenshaw’s Newest Thoughts reveals how her kitchen is more than a place to make food – it’s a classroom!
• Raising Little Chefs — Chef Mike guest posts on Natural Parents Network about how he went from a guy who couldn’t cook to a chef who wanted to teach his boys to know how the food we love is made.
• In the Kitchen with my kids — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine shares a delicious soup recipe that her kids love.
• Papa, the Pancake Artist — Papa’s making an incredible breakfast over at Our Mindful Life.
• Kids won’t eat salad? Try this one! — Tat at Mum in Search is sharing her children’s favourite salad recipe.
• Recipe For a Great Relationship — Cooking with kids is about feeding hearts as well as bellies, writes Hannah at Wild Parenting.
• The Ritual of Mealtimes — Syenna at Gently Parenting Twins writes about the significance of mealtimes in her family’s daily rhythm.
• Kid, Meet Food. Food, Kid. — Alburnet at What’s Next? panicks about passing on her food “issues” to her offspring.
• Growing Up in the Kitchen — Cassie at There’s a Pickle in My Life shares how her son is growing up in the kitchen.
• Harvesting Corn and History — From Kenna at School Garden Year: The kids in the school garden harvest their corn and learn how much history grows in their food.
• My Guiding Principles for Teaching my Child about Food — Tree at Mom Grooves uses these guiding principles to give her daughter a love of good food and an understanding of nutrition as well as to empower her to make the best choices for her body.
• Kitchen Control — Amanda at Let’s Take the Metro writes about her struggles to relinquish control in the kitchen to her children.
• Food — Emma at Your Fonder Heart lets her seven month old teach her how to feed a baby.
• Kitchen Fun? — Adrienne at Mommying My Way questions how much fun she can have in a non-functional kitchen, while trying to remain positive about the blessings of cooking for her family.
• Kitchen Adventures — Erica at ChildOrganics shares fun ways to connect with your kids in the kitchen.
• Kids in the Kitchen: Finding the Right Tools — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings shares some of her favorite child-sized kitchen gadgets and where to find them.
• The Kitchen Classroom — Laura at Authentic Parenting knows that everything your kids want to learn is at the end of the ladle.
• Kids in the Kitchen — Luschka from Diary of a First Child talks about the role of the kitchen in family communication and shares fun kitchen activities for the under two.
• Our Kitchen is an Unschooling Classroom. — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle explores the many ways her kitchen has become a rich environment for learning.
• Montessori-Inspired Food Preparation for Preschoolers — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares lots of resources for using Montessori food preparation activities for young children in the kitchen.
• My Little Healthy Eater — Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry shares her research on what is the best first food for babies, and includes a healthy and yummy breakfast recipe.
• Two Boys and Papa in the Kitchen: Recipe for Disaster? — MudpieMama shares all about her fears, joys and discoveries when the boys and handsome hubby took over the kitchen.
• Food choices, Food treats — Henrietta at Angel Wings and Herb Tea shares her family’s relationship with food.
• learning to eat — Catherine at learner mummy reflects on little M’s first adventures with food.
• The Night My 7-Year-Old Made Dinner — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! shares how her 7-year-old daughter surprised everyone by turning what started as an idea to play restaurant into pulling off making supper for her family.
• Cooking With a High-Needs Toddler — Sylvia at MaMammalia describes how Montessori-inspired activities and a bit of acceptance have helped her overcome hurdles in cooking while caring for a “high-needs” child.
• Kids in the Kitchen – teaching healthy food choices — Brenna at Almost All The Truth shares her belief in the importance of getting kids into the kitchen using her favorite cookbook for kids to develop healthy food choices now and hopefully into the future.
• Make Milk, Not War — Tamara at Tea for Three remembers the daily food fights as she struggled to feed a picky eater.
• teaching baby birds about good food. — Sarah at Small Bird on Fire writes about the ways in which her family chooses to gently teach their son how to make wise food decisions.
• 5 Ways to Enhance Your Baby or Young Toddler’s Relationship with Food — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares simple ways to give your child a healthy beginning to her lifelong relationship with food.
• Toddler at the Table: 10 Creative Solutions — Moorea at Mamalady shares tips for preventing meal-time power struggles.
• How My Child Takes Responsibility During His Mealtime… — Jenny @ I’m a full-time mummy shares how she teaches and encourages her 32 months old son on adopting good manners and responsibilities during his mealtimes…
• Kids in the Kitchen: 6 Tips Plus a Recipe — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings shares six tips for overcoming some of the the difficulties of cooking with multiple young sous chefs, and a recipe they all can agree on!
• How BLW has made me a better parent — Zoe at Mummykins shares how baby-led weaning has changed her approach to parenting.
• My Budding Chef — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom is no cook but is happy that her daughter has shown an inclination and manages to whip up yummy goodies for their family.
• Kids in the Kitchen: An Activity for Every Age — Gaby from Tmuffin describes how she keeps her kids busy in the kitchen, whether they are one week old or two years old.
• The Phantastically Mutlipurposed Phyllo — Ana at Pandamoly shares how Phyllo is used to create enticing dishes at home! Anything can be made into a Struedel!
• Kitchen Kids — Laura from A Pug in the Kitchen shares her children’s most favorite recipe to make, experience and eat.
• Independence vs. Connection in the Kitchen: won’t you please get yourself your own snack already? — Lisa at Organic Baby Atlanta wishes her daughter would just go make a mess in the kitchen. But her daughter only wants to do it together.
• Grandma Rose’s Kitchen — Abbie at Farmer’s Daughter reminisces about her childhood and dreams of filling her kitchen with people, love, noise, and messes.
• Healthy Food Choices for Kids — Jorje offers one way to encourage children to make their own healthy food choices at MommaJorje.com.
• Cooking food to thrive rather than survive — Phoebe at Little Tinker Tales is trying to foster a lifetime of good food habits by teaching her children about the importance of avoiding junk, cooking healthy meals, and learning about the whole food process.
• Evolution of a self-led eater — Sheila at A Gift Universe shares the story of how her son grew from nursing around the clock to eating everything in sight, without her having to push.
• 10 Ways Tiny Helps In The Kitchen — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama explores the ways in which her toddler actively participates in kitchen-related activities.
• The Complexity of Feeding a Child — Feeding children a healthy diet is no straight-forward task, but Lisa at My World Edenwild shares some general guidelines to help your child thrive.
• Lactation Cookies — That Mama Gretchen shares a fun recipe that will benefit both mamas and babies!
• 50 of the Best Books, Websites, & Resources to Inspire Kids in the Kitchen — Need inspiration to get your kids in the kitchen? Dionna at Code Name: Mama rounds up some of the best books and websites that can serve as a source for ideas, recipes, and cooking with littles fun.
• A 4-year-old’s smoothie recipe — Jen at Grow With Graces and her son set out to make a smoothie without the usual ingredients. She let him improvise. See how it turned out.
• Independent Food Preparation (My Toddler Can Do That?) — Megan at Montessori Moments shares simple ways for children to prepare their own healthy snacks.
• Follow Your Gut — Amy at Anktangle shares her philosophy about intuitive eating, and how she’s trying to foster her son’s trust in his own inner wisdom when he feels hungry.
• A TODDLER-STYLE LUNCH + RECIPE — Manic Mrs. Stone photographs how to have messy fun during lunchtime with a helpful toddler.